My lack of posting here makes it painfully obvious that I tend to ignore this little corner of the blogosphere when life—life offline, that is—gets busy. It’s not that I haven’t had much to say lately. Quite the opposite, actually; I’ve been mulling over big thoughts and little thoughts and wondering what exactly to do with them. Do I write about them here? Do I keep them to myself? Do I e-mail my friends and family and let them figure things out for me? I don’t know.
I start my days by hitting snooze, taking a shower, and stuffing Golden Grahams in my mouth before they have time to get soggy from the milk in my bowl. I get on a bus that takes me to work where I sit in an office for four hours trying to figure out process and etiquette. When my time is up there I come home, take the dog out, weigh my need to procrastinate against my need to do freelance work, and black out and come to three hours later to find that some of my work has gotten done and my browsing history consists of 20 random websites and blogs I don’t even remember reading.
I’m struggling to maintain an interest in personal blogs these days. So many are full of self-promotional banners, buttons, and links, and it’s just so difficult to find a blog wherein the writer isn’t asking every visitor to post a comment or retweet it or put it on Facebook or whatever. It’s a turn off, having the sinking feeling that someone is trying to make his or her personality fill a sliver of a niche. I’m not going to market you, she says unapologetically. If you find that irksome, just go ahead and push that red button so the trap door beneath my feet opens up and swallows me whole. I’m OK with it.
I have more pressing concerns to deal with, like wondering why my mother thinks it is acceptable to forward me the obituary for my great aunt preceded only with the line, “Aunt H____ passed away Sunday morning.” No greeting, no buffer, no closing. Just that. Wonderful communication skills. Was that an attempt at delivering shock value? I imagine my mother-in-law passing along such a message, and suddenly it takes on a different shape, a different light. There’s a gentle preface, an expression of regret, something like, Just wanted to let you know…what a shame. Not just a robotic report of ones and zeroes.
It’s thoughts like this that make me think I’m being too critical. Everyone has their own way of approaching these situations. The way I would write an e-mail is not necessarily the way someone else would. Just because I would de-clutter and dust my house before having a party doesn’t mean someone else would. The way I would interact with a salesperson is not the same way someone else would. I understand this, but I still criticize people for doing these things differently (or not at all).
I don’t think I should be as bothered by these things as I am. These particular actions of others’ have no effect on my well-being or environment. Being frustrated by them is not worth the emotional energy. I keep telling myself I need to simplify my life and improve my outlook, and this is a good example of something I can change without losing anything.
Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blog.
I totally understand the blacking out and realizing you visited 20 random websites (love the way you described it). Happened to me all the time when I worked from home.